Taking care of yourself is one of the most important things you can do as a caregiver. Caregiving is not easy — not for the caregiver and not for the person receiving care. It requires sacrifices and adjustments for everyone. Often, family caregivers must juggle work and family life to make time for these new responsibilities.
Caring for an older adult can also be rewarding. Many people find that caregiving provides a sense of fulfillment and that they like feeling useful and needed. But the ongoing demands of taking care of someone else can strain even the most resilient person. That’s why it’s so important for you to take care of yourself. This article can help you find ways to look out for your own well-being so you can be there for others.
How do you know if you need help?
Caregivers do a lot for others. Because there is so much on their plate, many caregivers don’t spend time taking care of themselves. For example, they are less likely than others to get preventive health services, like annual checkups, and to practice regular self-care. As a result, they tend to have a higher risk of physical and mental health issues, sleep problems, and chronic conditions such as high blood pressure. They are even at an increased risk of premature death.
It’s not always obvious when a person needs help. Watch out for these signs of caregiver stress:
- Feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or anxious
- Becoming easily angered or impatient
- Feeling lonely or disconnected from others
- Having trouble sleeping or not getting enough sleep
- Feeling sad or hopeless, or losing interest in activities you used to enjoy
- Having frequent headaches, pain, or other physical problems
- Not having enough time to exercise or prepare healthy food for yourself
- Skipping showers or other personal care tasks such as brushing your teeth
- Misusing alcohol or drugs, including prescription medications
Don’t wait until you are completely overwhelmed. Learn what your own warning signs are and take steps to minimize sources of stress where possible.
Caring for yourself as a long-distance caregiver
Long-distance caregiving brings its own kinds of stress. Caregivers who live far away may feel guilty about not being closer, not doing enough, or not having enough time with the person. They may even feel jealous of those who live closer and can do more. Many long-distance caregivers also worry about taking time off from work, being away from family, and paying for travel. Although they might not have the same stressors as a primary caregiver, long-distance caregivers should be aware of when they may need help, too.
How can you ask others to help?
When people have asked you if they can lend a hand, have you told them, “Thanks, but I’m fine”? Accepting help from others isn’t always easy. You may worry about being a burden, or you may feel uncomfortable admitting that you can’t do it all yourself. But many caregivers later say they did too much on their own, and they wished they had asked for more support from family and friends.
Understand that many people want to help, and it makes them feel good to contribute. If asking for help is hard for you, here are some tips that may help:
- Ask for small things at first, if that makes it easier for you. Many large jobs can be broken down into simpler tasks.
- If you aren’t comfortable asking face-to-face, send a text or email with your request.
- Consider a person’s skills and interests when thinking about how they could help.
- Be prepared with a list of things that need to be done, and let the other person choose what they’d like to do.
- If someone offers to help, practice saying, “Thanks for asking. Here’s what you can do.”
- Be honest about what you need and what you don’t need. Not every offer is going to be helpful.
- Be prepared for some people to say “no,” and don’t take it personally.